The queen asked me to lunch today,
But I had to tell her no.
I had to scrub the floor this morn,
So I said I couldn’t go.
I’d have taken her to places,
I’m sure she has never been.
She’d have to wear some dark glasses,
Or feel funny going in.
But I know she’s already done
The common touristy things,
And enjoyed the thrills and smiles
Going to Disneyland brings.
There’s such a long list of places
It’s hard to know where to start.
But surely seeing a K-Mart,
Secretly lives in her heart.
She’d get her very own welcome,
“Welcome to K-Mart,” they’d say.
They may have a blue blood special
By the flashing light today.
Or strolling an unclaimed freight sotre
To save 50 to 70%,
I know she hasn’t done it yet,
And that she’d be glad she went.
Surely she longs to see Sam’s CLub,
The membership discount store,
But is too embarrassed to ask,
If I’d get her in the door.
My membership card allows guests,
And I know she’d get a thrill,
Then we could have the cheese sandwich---
Special at their bar and grill.
Wandering the generic aisle,
Could be full of surprises.
You don’t pay for fancy labels,
And you can get great prices.
Perhaps she’d find a new purse there—
That ugly one she carries
Is crying out to be replaced
Sales are missed by one who tarries.
Before we left we could gas up,
She’d see how the self-serve works.
I would let her work the gas pump,
But of course, I’d show her first.
Oh, I’m sure she’ll be so sorry,
To have missed such an outing,
And it’ll probably take at least
Two weeks to stop her pouting.
But she has to realize too,
I don’t have servants to help,
And the kitchen floor I walk on,
I have to do all myself.
Surely though, she will understand,
And when she steps on her ship,
She’ll think how she’ll ask me again,
With more notice her next trip. |
